The blogger me vs. the real me
I just read through this POST and it got me thinking about my projection on the world. In her post the writer talks about how the ‘sweeter’ version of herself is shown on her blog but she loves it. I have to say that for the most part, I try to stay pretty true to life buuuuuut I can be confidant when I say that having a blog to show myself ‘off’ has actually inspired me to be a better mother, wife, and person. After Cake was born I had my one year of maternity leave where I just sank into ‘being’ a stay at home mom. I didn’t really have any goals or aspirations (other than to get pregnant again before my mat leave expired) and it kind of just let the days float away. I figured I had all the time in the world to do whatever I wanted. Some days Cake and I would do nothing but read books all day, or play with stuffies, or go to the park, or walk in the stroller for hours! Things got done whenever and while it was nice not to have to follow anyone else’s rules I missed the structure that my life had had for such a long time.
When Nay was born and I started my mat leave again, I went into survival mode. Nay had colic, then thrush, then his personality started to emerge and as I’ve made no secret of it he can be a bit on the cranky side. He is like me, but I had no idea how to handle him. Cake is like S. Geek, I know exactly how to handle her but for little Nay we had to have a bit of time together to learn about eachother. When all of that finally got out of the way there I was with two littles, a house, a husband, and a life to manage. More importantly though, I had to give purpose to what I was doing. I couldn’t justify playing trains for 4 hours a day, or babysitters (Cake’s currant fav. gave) all afternoon. I had to start doing some real teaching and I’m not talking about the ABC’s or colours, or body parts; I’m talking about giving the kids life lessons.
Being a blogger has helped me to stay accountable to my kids, because it helps me to take stock of what I’m doing and what my emotions are. I can take a simple situation like baking a cake that I want to post about and think ‘it would be WAY faster if I did this while distracting Cake with a movie’ but instead I think that my readers which is probably just my own parents and the few friends and family I bully into reading…THANKS GUYS, HUGS TO YOU ALL!! would enjoy reading it and seeing the pics if a cute little blonde girl were helping out. Plus I know that it gives her the opportunity to practice pouring and measuring, and not to mention her abilities as a taste tester are unparallelled! Having a blog and somewhere to report to makes me look for opportunities to show the kids new things and give them opportunities to try things I never would have thought to. (Like tomorrow afternoon when we will be making apple print t-shirts!)
I like who I am on my blog, I don’t feel so isolated when I blog. When I get all of your lovely comments they warm the cockles of my heart, seriously, every last one! I almost never look at page views or subscribers but I know you’re out there and you inspire and cheer me on or at least it feels that way.
So, I’m happy to blog, I’m happy to communicate and take all those thoughts out of my head and put them out on the internets to be read or ignored. Either way I’m good, read me, don’t, like it, don’t whatever works as long as I get to keep my outlet and keep getting the chances to better myself.