Just so you don’t think I live in fairytale lollypop land…
Monday, S. Geek away on business:
Me: Cake, Nay come down and have your breakfast! What do you want? Toast? Cereal? Oatmeal?
Cake and Nay: We don’t want anything ever, we’re still tired why did you wake us up???
Me: *Breathe..breathe…calm…* I woke you up because we’re going to go on fun playdate, now come down and choose your breakfast.
Tuesday, S. Geek gone away on business
Me: Cake! Nay! Come and get your shoes on it’s time to go to playgroup
Cake: Noooooooooooooooooo I hate going out all the time why can’t they all come over here, I’m going to my room.
Nay: I don’t like it
Me: you love it when we get there and don’t give me a hard time, all your friends are waiting for you. Let’s go, NOW! *slightly yelling*
Wednesday, S. Geek away on business:
Me after dropping Cake off at preschool: C’mon Nay let’s get in the van and we’ll go to the grocery store, you can help Mommy put the fruit in the basket.
Nay: Noooooooooooooooo want to stay HOME! *slightly yelling*
Me: SIGH! Nay, Mommy is losing patience with you, please don’t make me force you into submission because logic implies that I will win as I am far larger than you are.
Nay: Have a yogurt drink Mommy *more than slightly whining*
Me: Let’s go…*more than slightly annoyed.
Thursday, S. Geek away on business
Me: Insert random request/comment/words spoken to children
Kids: Insert every manner of non-compliance
Me: Chanting my patience mantra in the walk in closet while kids watch t.v.
Friday, S. Geek comes home from business trip
S. Geek: I missed my little squids SO much, have you all been good? I love you SO much, look at all these overpriced airport gifts I bought for you!!!!!!! LOVELOVELOVELOVE
Kids: OH DADDY we were SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good while you were away we love eating broccoli and we never ever got out of our beds after bedtime and we always remembered that there is not hitting/biting/pushing/backtalking in our house.
Piles of love ensue, double rainbows cascade from the skies, unicorns take up residence in our backyard, and leprechauns drop off buckets of gold.