Our home does not have a good rhythm right now. S. Geek seems to be gone at least two days every week, I think the kids are OVER with the daily activities out of the house. This morning I had to drag Nay out of the house to leave. He wanted to play with his cars. Cake didn’t want to go either. She only wants to go to preschool when Mommy and Nay don’t go with her. She’s angry with me because I’m not taking her to the preschool field trip. She woke up at 9:30 and when I went to find out why she was up she told me she wanted to go. I’m not taking her because the ‘farm’ that we go to is always overbooked with school trips and there are 9 and ten year old kids running around without proper supervision. I know that Cake wants to go, but we went there last fall and it was a DISASTER. The worst part was having to haul myself and Nay (who was under my arm) up a play structure and ‘toss’ Cake down a slide because she would just not get down. Several parents gave me some dirty looks, I may or may not have told someone where to go but I’m sorry, when exactly did it become bad to parent your child in public?
I’m getting a bad taste in my mouth just thinking about it.
So, we’re not going. We will do something fun on that day, I’m not sure what yet but I’m sure I can figure it out.
Did I mention that S. Geek is not home a lot? And it’s not getting any better in the coming weeks. I’m cranky about it, I just wish there was an end in sight.
What bothers me the most is that I’m so in need of a break. I feel like I eat breathe sleep live for other people. I’ve done something to my ankle
I may have to hack it off soon it hurts, I cannot run. I tried to run on it, you know no pain no gain. I gained nothing except searing pain while I tried to sleep. I’m just tired and whiny, can you tell? and I need to do something fun and rejuvenating. I’m the mom, I set the pace and rhythm in our home and right now I’m not doing a very good job. It’s feeling stale and rigid in here instead of warm and inviting. I think if I were to ask the other three members of my family they’d assure me that it is all in my head but it still feels like I’m missing a bit of my drive. I need to think, really focus on what I can do to make me happy. Happy mommy equals happy family. Right? That’s how it goes right? It feels selfish of me to want these things but I’m pretty proud to admit that there’s very little I think I can do to be a better wife and mother (and still be the wife and mother I WANT to be.)
On a side note, our yearly visit from the duck couple was today. We got home from the airport and there they were just chillin’ in the pool. Cake and I slowly crept our way towards them armed with a couple of slices of bread. The male quacked at us, I threw bread at him and then they took off. It was funny, Cake giggled. Normally we open up our pool on Victoria day weekend, I think we’ll be waiting a few more weeks since its frackin’ COLD still. Today I actually put on a sweater. A SWEATER will sleeves and everything. It made me want to whip up some chili and wrap myself up in a blanket by the fire.
Also…only THREE more weeks until my friend Rachel from Edmonton comes to visit. She is awesome. And funny. And she is an amazing mom and day care person. And I miss her and wish she still lived here in O-town. We are going to have fun when she comes, I’m not going to share her with anyone when she’s here. I have a list of all the things we are going to do with the kids. It’s long. Be prepared Rachel.
I made a new category for this post…it’s called mushy brain stuff…I’m so brilliant.